November 12, 1985

The Club with Showy Drivers

There was movement on the Parkway, for the word had passed around,
That the club with no regrets was on the way.
They were off to visit Oxford Falls - they'd been a thousand times,
So all the Zuki's gathered to the fray.
All the tried and noted drivers form the woodwork of the club
Had mustered at the meeting place that morn.
They were hoping for a full days four wheel driving in the scrub,
Providing that Kim's baby wasn't born.

There was Uncle Graeme Walker driving MAM-one seven oh,
With faithful Gwynne, and Kim his pregnant beau,
And he never used the Tirfor when the hill was getting tough,
He would go wherever 'Lux and man could go.
And Mick Lord of the Overturn came down to lend a hand,
No better driver ever rolled a car.
But not a hill could stop him when the comp'ny car was his,
His four wheel driving took him very far.

And one there was, a wimp who left his 4-Runner at home,
He said it lacked the clearance for this track.
But with a word or two to Sally, and another one to Jane,
He took their car and wouldn't give it back.
It was hard and tough and rocky, just the sort to dent your sills
But Andrew handled MKB with pride.
And the twins were calm as usual when he bounced it up those hills,
"Just don't tip it over!", Sally cried.

And Steve brought his Bundera, one would doubt his power to stay,
But Graeme said "I'd like to see it go".
On the long and tiring trip it seemed to keep up quite okay,
Though the mudflaps on the back just had to go.
He was careful with his driving as he followed with the rest, though
There were times he said "I think we've gone too far".
In the moments when he teetered, balanced nicely on a crest,
I think he wished he had a normal car.

And Bruce was tail-end vehicle but he didn't seem to mind,
He drove there out of choice, and not of luck.
By staying at the end and chasing everybody's tail,
They never got to see if he got stuck.
But when they sat down on the rocks, or in a shady place,
To watch the other cars and maybe learn,
They all got up to move aside and give them lots of space,
Especially when it was Bruce's turn!

When they reached the mountain summit, they stopped to have a rest,
Then got some rocks and helped restore the track.
And up to now you'd think that Mick and Martin drove the best,
But now the Hilux wimps were turning back!
Victor's new suspension seemed to handle all the bumps
He Drov'er over things to offer proof,
There was a rock that saw a splash of oil from his sump,
And the bar treads almost lowered his high roof!

And in the LJ80 there was Ian and his friend,
And every ledge they found, their Suzy cleared.
They drove on with the others right out to the very end,
And then, without farewell, they disappeared.
And Darryl, he was driving in DS two two three two,
The way he drove was worthy of a mention.
The rocks and bumps and ruts that seemed to big for you and me,
He walked all over, thanks to his suspension.

And George drove single handed from beginning through to end,
He ploughed it through the dirt and mud and muck.
The one big rock which caught him as he came around a bend,
Was the only time all day that he got stuck.
And the sun came through the soft top, down on Chris and Donna's shoulders,
But on the hard bits, temper tantrums showed.
Chris filled all the gaps and ruts with bits of rock and boulders,
With tar and steel, he could have built a road.

So down by Oxford Falls, where the sandstone ridges rise,
And chassis scrapes are used to mark the track,
Where the temperature gauge from K-Mart was reading 55 degrees,
And they drove from 10 till 3 without a snack.
Yes, up there on the plateau where the Suzy Clubbers play,
The things they think their cars can do are tried.
The Club with Showy Drivers is a household word today,
And the Track Chat tells the story of their ride.

Chris Betcher
With Apologies To A B (Banjo) Patterson